“In this directed rest state, you focus inward, you introspect, and you appear to slow down; but actually, your mental resources speed up and your thinking moves onto a higher level”

— How to Switch on Your Brain, Dr Caroline Leaf

[This blog post is an amalgamation of writing from earlier this year and the present day]

I write this from a kitchen table in Wales - sheep languishing in the shade, a swallow has just flown into the rafters, I have never seen them so close. The bird song is so loud here that for some reason I find myself whispering - it seems rude to speak louder than they. Behind me is an outdoor bathtub. At time of writing, it’s mid Spring in this bucolic setting - the sun is bright but the wind still carries the remnants of winter so I wear both a scarf and sunglasses. There are 2 dogs - Mortimer and Gertrude - Mortimer (or Morty) drops his frisbee at my feet expecting me to throw it, but I seem unable to throw in a straight line - at one point I threw it directly into the bush and Morty looks at me with canine disdain, his ears pricked as if to say ‘err, what the heck was that?!’

My accommodation is a cabin with a verandah overlooking a field that has been so quietly cultivated it looks untouched, but disturbed just enough to see the considered and careful handprint of its owners - a pond, wild flowers, a chicken coop, pygmy goats. My room - a mixture of vintage furniture, flea market paintings, a heavy quilted bedspread and a wood burning stove that this city girl has tried to light several times but failed- is womb-like. I’m slowly working my way through a book by Palestinian poet and writer Mahmoud Darwish, ‘The Butterfly’s Burden’. I’ve only become recently acquainted with a man described as Palestine’s national poet and as I read his translated work, I wish I spoke Arabic and that I had a teacher to unpack his words for me

‘We are one in two/

There’s no name for us, woman, when the stranger

Stumbles upon himself in the stranger’

The Stranger Stumbles upon Himself in the Stranger, Mahmoud Darwish

“I’ve discovered that rest is more than the absence of activity - it’s not necessarily doing nothing - it includes celebration, reflection, feeding the soul. ”

I’m here to write, to rest, to allow myself to slow down.

Most creatives I know, myself included are always working - even when we’re not working, we’re working. If you’re not bringing an idea to life, you're thinking about it. Thinking about how to execute it; how much it will cost; the compromises you’ll need to make when you’ve worked out how much it will actually cost; daydreaming about the day you’ll have unlimited funds to bring said idea to life - which in my case includes thinking about marrying an oligarch or tech billionaire so they can funnel their tax avoidant money into yet another one of my creative whims - I’ve decided against it, the cons outweighing the pros; the tension between wanting to focus on creative things but life’s practicalities mean ever-competing priorities - in my case, how to be a better musician, how to build my business, short, medium and long term; making the right connections; deciding on whether to go to another networking event (I do not like networking events - does anyone like networking events?!)…you get the picture - always working.

And so I’ve had to learn how to rest - it’s become as integrated a practice in my life as exercise or practicing my instruments. It’s simple, at the heart of it is joy. I’ve been doing it for about 3 years now and it’s transformed my life. I’ve discovered that rest is more than the absence of activity - it’s not necessarily doing nothing - it includes celebration, reflection, feeding the soul. It’s only later that I discovered that rest is also imperative for brain function - neuroscientist Dr. Caroline Leaf explains it like this:

‘what research shows it that when we go into a directed rest - a focused, introspective state - we enhance and increase the effectiveness of the activity in the nonconscious’ … ‘In this directed rest state, you focus inward, you introspect, and you appear to slow down; but actually, your mental resources speed up and your thinking moves onto a higher level’

How to Switch on Your Brain, Dr Caroline Leaf

“And through my discovery of rest, I have become reacquainted with the importance of incorporating BEAUTY into my life ”

So once a week, I turn off my phone - I think my phone, or my use of it, is the chief culprit for my busyness- no emails, I sleep in, let my body wake up naturally and do the things that bring me joy. And it varies from week to week. I scroll through Pinterest; watch movies; eat nice food; go for a walk; I may check out an exhibition; I read - dipping in and out of books or the weekend papers; I listen to music or a podcast (Questlove Supreme a firm Saturday favourite); I bike around my neighbourhood; buy myself flowers, light candles; pamper myself; sometimes I see friends. Most importantly, I make a decision to not think or do anything work related, including planning for the week ahead (it’s only when I stop, I realise how noisy my mind is and it takes active work to quieten it!).

And through my discovery of rest, I have become reacquainted with the importance of incorporating beauty into my life - I think they’re inextricably linked but I’ll talk about beauty another time. I’m still thinking about what this means so bear with me as I think out loud, but I feel as if rest expressed through beauty allows us to circumvent the intellect and connect with our hearts. And I think we create from a more free flowing place when we allow the heart rather than the intellect to lead.

“What’s even more mysterious is that I seem to have more time not less and I seem to get things done quicker. ”

— Quote Source

I’ll give you an example - I’ve written so many songs on these rest days, ideas come so easily as if they fall out the sky and all I have to do is open my hands to catch them. I distinctly remember ‘hearing’ the string arrangements for some tracks on my album. Sitting in my music room miming playing the violin and I could feel and hear how the arrangements should sound - I subsequently wrote two string arrangements in less than 2 days with ease. Of course the technical side of string arranging meant my intellect was involved but the flow of ideas and sound and knowing what felt ‘right’ was heart. So that something I previously just couldn’t muster the will or focus to do - the months leading up to the deadline, I kept telling myself ‘you’ve got to write these arrangements’ but did nothing other than stress myself out - came out of free flow, came out of rest.

What’s even more mysterious is that I seem to have more time not less and I seem to get things done quicker. As I said, this is a mystery to me so I can’t explain it, I just know it as my reality.

And so in Wales, allowing myself to fully disconnect this time away from home, so that a few nights away can feel like weeks.

So, what about the practicalities? We’re all different, with different responsibilities, priorities, desires etc, it’s not a prescriptive thing. So here are some of my thoughts/suggestions/things that I do that may be beneficial to you:

Rest is connected to joy - thinking about what brings you joy is a really good place to start. And it needn’t cost much or any money - buying flowers, going for a walk, staring up at the sky as the clouds roll by, drawing, writing…
Knowing how you’re wired - I’m an introvert so I recharge being by myself, but if you’re extroverted the idea of spending the day in your own company may not bring you joy at all! Hanging out with friends/family may be restful for you.
Preparing in advance - I rest Friday night to Saturday night (like the Jewish sabbath) so I think about what I want to do on the Thursday or Friday morning. That way I’m not planning on the day I’m resting - I’ve found that if I haven’t worked out what I want to do, deciding on the day can stress me out. You may want to write a list of the things you want to do during the week.
Disconnecting from social media - I turn my phone off but I know that’s not possible for everyone, but deciding not to use social media can help - seeing loads of images all at once and the incessant scrolling ‘busies’ the mind. It was only when I turned off my phone/disconnected from social media that I realised how much anxiety it was causing - all the constant notifications, emails, messages etc were causing stress and anxiety. Now, I breathe a contented sigh as I turn off my phone on a Friday night and often have a twinge of sadness when I have to turn it back on again, it was bliss!
Giving yourself permission to stop - If like me, you live in a busy metropolis busyness has become connected to productivity and self-worth/value. And if you’ve struggled to allow yourself to rest because you work for yourself and you’re therefore responsible for your output, i.e. you know that if you don’t do the work, it doesn’t get done - I want to suggest giving yourself permission to stop - to ‘park’ your work. Sometimes writing a list of the work you need to do before you switch off can help bring the calm you need knowing you can pick it up later. Knowing that stopping is good for you and that actually you’ll be more productive with rest, not without it.

Over to you - what does rest mean to you, what are some of the things that bring you joy?